The first super sunny day after we had back to back batches of ice in the month of February had me happy. It seemed like we were getting all of our winter in just one week and the sunshine was very appreciated. The grass on my little two acres (sarcasm here, because two acres can be a handful when it’s just one person) was starting to poke through the leftover ice…and it was green.
After a rough several months of journeying through family birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then death anniversaries all while pulling myself together to appear okay to the outside world; I needed that sunshine and green grass. It was my light at the end of the tunnel.
I used to hate the thought around this time of spring, and green grass, and sunshine, because that meant allergies, lots of mowing, sunburns and hot Kansas days. After the winter months I’ve experienced this year, being confined indoors during some of the coldest weather I’ve ever experienced, I welcome the thought of being able to run around outside with my dogs.
I’ve learned a lot in this season life, particularly about how I have been coping and healing of my grief as yet another season of life is passing by. I’ve learned that even on a cloudy day, having the windows open to let the sun is can make or break my general mood for the day. Even if I leave my bedroom shades drawn, if I have every other window open to let the light of the outside world in, my mood lifts. I have also learned that if I don’t do my dishes right away they’re probably going to sit and collect in the sink until the sink is overflowing, or I have exhausted every utensil or bowl or plate in the house and am forced to do dishes.
I’m not saying that as soon as I figured these two specific patterns out that I was able to combat them and make a change. Absolutely the reverse happened. It was like I was stuck. Winter has been rough on me, especially since it coincides with all those special dates I mentioned before. I allowed myself to make the decision to ignore dishes, and to ignore giving myself a little bit of happiness by opening the windows.
But green grass. Something about that green grass got to my heart. It’s the renewing energy I needed to get out of this slump; a slump that had me pretty darn low for the first time in a year.
I feel as I’m moving into a new season of life that it is occurring directly as our weather seasons are beginning to change. It won’t be long before I start sneezing every time I open the door, or window, or even think of going outside. It won’t be long before I’m maneuvering around this property for the second year mowing as I have some lengthy talks with God.
Before I know it, even this season that I’m now thankful for, will be coming to an end. But as Matthew 6:34 (AMP) reads:
“So do not worry about tomorrow;
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.”